Jamming with Jason E43: New Year’s Resolutions for 2020

The fact is, fewer than 90-95% of people actually follow through with and accomplish their new year’s resolutions. The reason: they don’t do the things necessary to create new habits, or break old habits.

In this episode of #jammingwithjason #internalauditpodcast I dive into 5 things you can do this year to make sure you accomplish more in 2020 and make it an amazing year.

You’ll hear about:

  • having compassion for yourself if you didn’t accomplish everything in 2019 you’d hoped for,
  • not just setting goals (resolutions), but creating habits,
  • breaking down your annual goals into 90-day goals,
  • creating a daily routine for reaching your 90-day goals, and
  • realizing our habits determine who we are.

The more we work on developing the right habits, the more likely we will accomplish our bigger goals.

The book referred to in this episode: The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business, by Charles Duhigg, is a great ready for understanding and developing great habits.

Jamming with Jason is the #1 #internalauditpodcast in the world has interviews and discussions (jam sessions) relevant to Chief Audit Executives and professionals in #internalaudit, risk management, and compliance.

Transcript

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Jason Mefford: Welcome to another episode of jamming with Jason. Hey, everybody. I don’t know if you’re like me, but it’s the end of 2019. Can you believe that we are already at the end of 29 teen. Wow. I don’t know where the time is going the older that I get

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Jason Mefford: But you know this this New Year’s Eve New Year’s Day transition is not only transitioning from 2019 to 2020 but it’s the change of a decade.

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Jason Mefford: And I know for me as I’ve been thinking about this for the last week or so, you know, I grew up.

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Jason Mefford: I love history. I read a lot of things about history. And I’ve always referred to the 20th, you know, meaning the 1920s and the things that happened in the 20s, meaning 1920s.

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Jason Mefford: And so for me it’s a little weird to realize that the 20s are now and we’re going to be starting to refer to the 20s.

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Jason Mefford: As where we are currently at so I know for me, it’s a little bit crazy. I don’t know if it’s that way for you.

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Jason Mefford: Now with the end of the year. I thought this week, I would talk about New Year’s resolutions. And here’s the reason. Right. Lots of people almost everybody makes some sort of new year’s resolution.

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Jason Mefford: But here’s the deal. Probably 90 to 95% of people don’t ever keep those new year’s resolutions.

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Jason Mefford: So they get all excited at the end of the year they write down a few things that they want to try to accomplish this next year.

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Jason Mefford: They work really hard for a week or two, and then they stop and they don’t actually accomplish their new year’s resolutions. So again, probably 90 to 95% of people

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Jason Mefford: Do not actually complete their new year’s resolutions. So I wanted to talk to you this week about that and actually give you some tips.

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Jason Mefford: For how you can make 2020 different okay because, again, if you’re like lots of people you know you probably sat down and said,

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Jason Mefford: You know, here’s some of the things I want to do next year. I want to get in better health. I want to lose some weight, maybe I want to quit smoking or I want to quit drinking or, you know, I want to do something else.

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Jason Mefford: And I bring those up because those are some of the most common New Year’s resolutions, but again 90 to 95% of people don’t actually follow through.

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Jason Mefford: And complete their new year’s resolutions. So let’s talk a little bit about why that happens. And I’m going to give you some tips.

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Jason Mefford: That we’re going to get into in more detail on how you can make 2020 different. Okay, so I’m just going to kind of run through some of the

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Jason Mefford: Kind of what the tips are and then let’s dive in and talk about them in more detail. So the first the first one is, don’t just set goals, create habits.

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Jason Mefford: And this is one of the issues you know most people with a new year’s resolution, they create a goal, but they don’t actually work on trying to change their habits and we’ll talk about how you can actually do that.

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Jason Mefford: The second one is have some compassion for yourself if you didn’t accomplish everything that you wanted to in

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Jason Mefford: The third one is about breaking down your goals into 90 day or quarterly goals that you can break down even further into some of the things that are daily and weekly things that you need to do.

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Jason Mefford: Because the fourth one is you need to start creating some daily routines, or what I’ll refer to sometimes is habits and what we’re going to talk more about habits.

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Jason Mefford: So that you can reach those 90 day goals. And then finally, is just a reminder that our habits or those things that we do our behaviors. That’s actually who

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Jason Mefford: We are. And so when we work on developing our habits and kind of thinking about what kind of person. Do I need to be

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Jason Mefford: What do I need to be doing so that then I can have that particular goal. So again, that’s kind of the overview of the the tips that I want to be talking through with you this week.

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Jason Mefford: So let’s just dive into it and get get right into it. So let’s start with the first one. Don’t just set goals but create habits.

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Jason Mefford: And so here’s the here’s the thing you need to learn a little bit about habits and why it is so often that people are not able to keep

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Jason Mefford: Or follow through on their goals or their new year’s resolutions and so I’ll use new year’s resolution and and goals kind of interchangeably, as we’re talking today.

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Jason Mefford: So habits are things that you you know habitually do you kind of get into a routine so that you’re actually doing these things regularly.

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Jason Mefford: And if we want to accomplish certain things. What we have to do is change our habits to be able to help us in achieving those things. So let me share a little story with you.

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Jason Mefford: There’s a great book. And I’ll try to put it in the in the show notes here to that if you’re interested to go out and get and take a look at

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Jason Mefford: But it’s called The Power of Habit. Why we do what we do in life and business. So again, that’s the Power of Habit. Why we do what we do in life and business. It’s a book by Charles do HIG hopefully I’m getting that name right.

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Jason Mefford: On the pronunciation. But in that book, Charles shares a story that I that I want to share with you because

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Jason Mefford: It’s important if you are trying to develop new habits or trying to break old habits that you understand how habits actually work.

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Jason Mefford: So remember some of the resolutions, I talked about, you know, if you want to quit smoking, as an example. Well, smoking, usually becomes a habit.

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Jason Mefford: And if you want to quit smoking, you need to quit that particular habit. Okay, so there’s a story that he shares in the book and

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Jason Mefford: This was, you know, the US military over in the Middle East. And so, so they were they were looking at. They were having some issues where

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Jason Mefford: They were kind of having these mini riots and so what, here’s what would happen right is they get called in to kind of police the area after this Riot had started

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Jason Mefford: And so it you know there were a whole bunch of people around and things were starting to get damaged and other stuff. You know how kind of riots work right.

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Jason Mefford: And what they did was they went back and they started looking at what is it, what does it take for it to get to a riot state.

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Jason Mefford: And they started to notice some patterns. Okay, so one of the patterns that they would notice is there, would there would usually be a couple of people that would gather and kind of the town square or on a corner.

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Jason Mefford: And the two people would start arguing about something. And so they would start arguing with each other.

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Jason Mefford: And as they started arguing, you would start to have people that would stop and kind of watch what was going on.

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Jason Mefford: So when a few people stopped to watch now all of a sudden, you know, everybody else is looking around and going, hey what’s going on over there.

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Jason Mefford: More people come over, more people stand around and are watching

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Jason Mefford: Some of those people may start to argue with each other and slowly this crowd starts to gather were originally there were just these two people that were arguing

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Jason Mefford: And so what would happen is more and more people would end up showing up. And what would happen is food cart vendors would notice. Hey,

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Jason Mefford: There’s a whole bunch of people over in this area. Let’s take our food carts over so we can sell some food, you know,

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Jason Mefford: Very you know entrepreneurial spirit and makes a lot of sense. If there’s a lot of people show up with your food carts sell food.

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Jason Mefford: And so now you know people are going to start to get hungry, they start eating buying from the food vendors

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Jason Mefford: More and more people show up. Now they’re, they’re not hungry so they don’t need to go home and they just continue to argue and the crowd gets bigger and bigger and bigger, and eventually it starts into a rioting kind of position.

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Jason Mefford: And so, as they were looking at this and they started to see these patterns they realized, you know, and this is kind of one of your lessons about habits is

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Jason Mefford: Habits are based on patterns. And so if you can interrupt a pattern then you never end up getting to that end results. Okay.

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Jason Mefford: So as an example, in this example, they realize that, you know, what if we just stop the food cart vendors, from showing up.

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Jason Mefford: Eventually, people are going to get hungry, they’re going to get tired and they’re going to go home, or go to a restaurant to try to eat because they’re going to get hungry.

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Jason Mefford: And so they realize that, and instead of trying to stop people from arguing in the street. They just did a pattern.

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Jason Mefford: Interrupt so when the food cart vendors would start showing up. They kind of push them push them back not lead them into that particular area.

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Jason Mefford: And eventually what they noticed is, sure enough, people started to get hungry, they decided to go back home. The crowd dissipates. And they didn’t have a riot.

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Jason Mefford: So one of the things that you need to learn about is, you know, if you’re trying to break a habit you want to do something to interrupt the normal pattern.

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Jason Mefford: So again, if you think about things that you may want to do differently in 2020 what little thing, can you do to interrupt the pattern so that you don’t end up getting to that particular place. Okay.

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Jason Mefford: So you can interrupt to try to stop bad habits. But on the flip side, if you’re trying to develop a new habit. Now you need to start deciding how you can create a pattern.

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Jason Mefford: That will help you to develop a particular habit. So, you know, as an example, one of the things that I do is I try to go on a walk every day at least

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Jason Mefford: And then some weeks I’m better than others, but one little thing that I have done to try to help create a pattern for me is I leave my shoes and socks that I need to be able to use to go out from my walk

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Jason Mefford: in in a in an area of the house where I see them. So I come out from my bedroom in the morning, you know, I start making my coffee and my shoes are sitting right there, staring at me.

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Jason Mefford: Now the reason that I put them there is. So again, it reminds me every day when I come out. I see them. But also, it makes it very easy for me to sit down and put on my shoes.

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Jason Mefford: If, if I get, you know, into the into the kitchen area and realize, oh, I should go for my walk right now, but I have to walk all the way back into the bedroom to get my shoes and socks.

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Jason Mefford: Excuse me, because of that delay.

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Jason Mefford: I may not take the action and in attack. Actually, it’s only two or three seconds. But if there’s two or three seconds.

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Jason Mefford: That that gets in the way of kind of that thought that you’re thinking and what you should do.

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Jason Mefford: And actually being able to do the thing, then you’re less likely to do it. So that’s why I leave my shoes and socks out

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Jason Mefford: Probably drives my wife nuts. But I leave them out in a particular area every night before I go to bed.

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Jason Mefford: I leave them in the same place so that when I come out of my bedroom in the morning. I see them and I’m much more likely to sit down, put them on and actually go for my walk

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Jason Mefford: Now I do the same thing with my guitar. I like to play the guitar. If my guitar is in the case in the back storage room.

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Jason Mefford: I’m probably not going to get it out and play it. But if it’s sitting right in front of me. If it’s sitting on the stand and in my library.

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Jason Mefford: I’m much more likely to actually pick it up and play. Okay. So there’s kind of your first tip. Don’t just set a goal.

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Jason Mefford: But start thinking about how can you create habits to be able to help you accomplish those goals.

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Jason Mefford: And so again, that could either be creating a new goal if you’re trying to do something new or it could be trying to find a way to interrupt the pattern that you’ve developed in the habit that you’re trying to break

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Jason Mefford: Now the second one compassion for yourself if we didn’t accomplish what we were hoping to last year.

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Jason Mefford: That is just a normal part of being a human. Okay. And so what I find sometimes is people will sit there and say, Oh, I didn’t accomplish this last year. So I’m not even going to set a new goal for next year.

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Jason Mefford: Well, that’s a defeatist purpose to begin with. And so you don’t want to do that because that’s going to start creating all these negative thoughts.

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Jason Mefford: And other things. It’s going to make it less likely for you to actually accomplish what you want to this next year.

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Jason Mefford: So the first thing is just stop and have compassion for yourself and realize that you don’t have to accomplish everything every single year.

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Jason Mefford: In fact, as humans, we tend to believe that we can accomplish much more than we can in any particular day, but here’s the nice thing.

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Jason Mefford: Even though we can’t accomplish everything that we think we can in one day in three months in a year, we can accomplish much more than we actually thought

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Jason Mefford: Okay, so have some compassion for yourself. So, one that relates to me, you know, last year I really, you know, one of my bucket list goals is I want to run a marathon.

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Jason Mefford: You know, I grew up being a runner in in high school was on the cross country team. I really enjoy running

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Jason Mefford: But, you know, as I’ve gotten older, it’s been more difficult for me to do that. I haven’t been in as good shape.

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Jason Mefford: To be able to run. And so I had set the goal that I wanted to run the Los Angeles marathon in March of 2019 now that didn’t happen. And again, there’s, there’s a whole bunch of reasons behind it. I got injured at the end of

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Jason Mefford: My knees were hurting. There were some other things that were going on, but I didn’t meet that goal in 2019

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Jason Mefford: Now I could choose to beat myself up and say, oh, Jason, you’re just an idiot, you know, why didn’t you do that, you know, you can never accomplish your goals and

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Jason Mefford: We don’t want that kind of thoughts going through our mind.

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Jason Mefford: Instead, I stopped back and I say, okay, well you know what, I probably could have tried to do it but it wouldn’t have been smart. I would have hurt myself more. It was better for me to just have compassion for myself and say, you know what

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Jason Mefford: Wasn’t the year for me for doing that now march of 2020 is probably not going to be the time for me either, because we’re getting very close to that.

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Jason Mefford: But at some point in my life. I’m going to run the Los Angeles marathon. And so right now. Again, you can. I can put that out as kind of a longer term goal and think, hey, maybe march of 2021

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Jason Mefford: Maybe that’s what I’m going to shoot for because that would give me about 16 months from now when I could actually prepare and and do what I needed to to be ready for that. So, have some compassion for yourself.

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Jason Mefford: The third one, you know, break down those goals into 90 day increments or a quarter of the year.

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Jason Mefford: And the reason for this is sometimes we set these really big goals at the beginning of the year and then we feel like we’re never going to make it.

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Jason Mefford: So as an example, you know, one of the most common things that people put on their lives each year as I want to lose weight.

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Jason Mefford: Okay, so let’s pretend that you have 40 pounds that you want to lose. So that’s approximately I think about 18 kilos. For those of you outside the US that you want to

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Jason Mefford: Let you want to lose this next year instead of just thinking about that big goal of 40 pounds, break it down and say, You know what, in the first quarter.

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Jason Mefford: I want to lose 10 pounds. If I lose 10 pounds in the first quarter in the second quarter in the third quarter and in the fourth quarter by the end of the year, I will have accomplished my goal of 40

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Jason Mefford: But I’m doing it in slow chunks of, you know, 10 each quarter. So that’s a way that you can kind of break down some of those big goals.

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Jason Mefford: If you break them down into smaller goals smaller goals are easier to accomplish. But if you accomplish in this instance for small goals, you’re going to meet your big goal. Okay.

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Jason Mefford: The fourth one. If we get into this one now about developing some daily routines or habits for helping you to be able to reach those 90 day goals.

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Jason Mefford: So if we just carry this example forward a little bit. Again, if I want to lose 10 pounds in the first quarter, there’s probably some little things that I can do.

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Jason Mefford: To help me reach that goal. So we’ll just make up some things here, right, one of those might be, Hey, I need to go for a run or for a walk or I need to exercise 30 minutes a day.

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Jason Mefford: I may need to do something about my diet, you know, maybe I need to change, you know, stop drinking soft drinks and sugary drinks, you know, eat more vegetables. There’s lots of different things that you could do.

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Jason Mefford: So if you break it down. What you’re trying to do now is create new habits every day. And again, how do we do that well we pick these little things.

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Jason Mefford: But for a habit to develop you usually need to do it at least 30 times

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Jason Mefford: So let’s again take this as an example. And if you’re if you’re a list checker somebody who likes to check off lists.

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Jason Mefford: This is a perfect way for you to use a list, have a little list of, you know, 234 or five things that you want to accomplish every single day.

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Jason Mefford: And then just make sure that you check them off every day. So if I’m trying to lose the 10 pounds and I decide I need to. I need to exercise for 30 minutes every day.

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Jason Mefford: I may actually create a little checklist that says, Did I exercise for 30 minutes today. Yes, check it off.

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Jason Mefford: Now I can’t just do that for one week and then stop and expect that I’m going to have lost the weight.

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Jason Mefford: I have to develop the habit, which means that I need to do this for at least 30 days in a row. Okay. And so that this is again as I talked about at the top of the podcast. This is one of the reasons why so few people

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Jason Mefford: Actually keep their new year’s resolutions, because they do good for a week or two, but they don’t do good for more than a month, which is going to help them in developing these new habits.

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Jason Mefford: And so again, if you’re developing a new habit. Think about those different habitual things that you can do every day that will help you get closer to your 90 day goal.

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Jason Mefford: If you’re trying to break certain habits. Then again, think about those pattern interrupts that you can do every day that will make it, you know, harder for you to do that. So as an example, one of my friends that was trying to quit smoking, right.

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Jason Mefford: She, she would normally have a pack of cigarettes right by the back door. And so, you know, she would see them. She grabbed them go outside smoke two or three or four cigarettes and then come back in.

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Jason Mefford: Well one of the ways that she that she tried to help herself and stop smoking was to interrupt that pattern. She moved, where she kept her cigarettes.

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Jason Mefford: Or she would only take one cigarette outside with her. She would be less likely to go back in and get more. And so as a result, she was able to slowly wean herself down

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Jason Mefford: And stop smoking. There’s another example of kind of this pattern interrupt. Okay, now

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Jason Mefford: Just to kind of, you know, close up this the end. And again, the reminder that if you’re having trouble meeting your goals.

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Jason Mefford: It’s probably because you have not developed the habits that you need to have to help you in achieving those particular goals.

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Jason Mefford: Because our habits, those things we do the behaviors that we have that becomes who we are. Okay. And so if you want to change if you want 2020 to be a better year than 2019 was

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Jason Mefford: If you want 2020, you know, if you want to accomplish certain things in 2020 you need to start looking at how can I develop different habits.

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Jason Mefford: Now some of those habits might mean, you know, again, maybe you have to get up a little bit earlier in the morning to be able to accomplish what you’d like to before you go off to work.

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Jason Mefford: Well, that’s just developing a new habit. Okay. But once you’ve done it long enough, it becomes a habit, then it’s no big deal going forward.

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Jason Mefford: So again, I know I normally get up somewhere between five or 530 every morning. I’ve done that for years. So it’s not difficult for me to get up at five or 530 in the morning.

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Jason Mefford: Because I have developed the habit. Okay. So with that, you know, let me kind of wrap up this episode, but really I do hope and wish that 2020 will be an amazing year for you.

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Jason Mefford: It can be an amazing year for you. You just have to decide what you want to accomplish. Right. And not just set goals, but start to create habits that will help you to get where you need to be now.

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Jason Mefford: Also as part of that. Think about who do you need to be. What do you need to do so that you can have what you want.

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Jason Mefford: And so again, you’re going to hear me talk about that a lot because so much of the time we think when I have something I’ll do something, then I will become something

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Jason Mefford: That’s not how it works. You have to be a certain way. You have to do certain things, then you can have

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Jason Mefford: And so this ties right back in with what we’ve been talking about today. You need to be the kind of person.

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Jason Mefford: That sets habits that is is you know has integrity with yourself to make sure that you do those little things every day.

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Jason Mefford: That you’re being the kind of person and doing the kind of things every single day that you need to to help you develop these habits, then you will have what you want.

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Jason Mefford: And I know you can do it. I’ve done it. I’ve seen lots of other people do it. And so let’s go out and make 2020 an amazing year

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Jason Mefford: And with that, my friends, I will catch you on the next episode of jammin with Jason. Have a great rest of your week and figure out again what habits do you need to create this next year to make

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Jason Mefford: The kind of year that you’d like to be