Jamming with Jason E136: Get Out Of Your Head

In today’s episode we are going to talk about how overthinking and getting into your own head may be one of the worst things that you are doing.

There are certain things that you can do in order to improve your habits which will in turn improve your outcomes in life.

So join me here on the podcast where I will share some of these little life “hacks” with you!

Listen in at: https://www.jasonmefford.com/jammingwithjason/

Transcript

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Jason Mefford: Welcome to another episode of jamming with Jay said Hey everybody. Today we are going to be talking about getting out of your head.

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Jason Mefford: And you’re actually going to see how overthinking and and being too much in your head may actually be one of the worst things that you are doing. So with that, let’s cue the episode and get started.

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Jason Mefford: Alright, so we are at the beginning of a new year, which I always think is a good time for us to kind of stop and reflect, think about, you know, kind of how the last year went be grateful for that.

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Jason Mefford: But really kind of decide and choose how we are going to do the New Year differently. Okay. And so let me just share with you a few things that I have planned here and on the podcast.

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Jason Mefford: And one of those is, you know, the more that I’ve been coaching and helping people now for years.

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Jason Mefford: The more I have found that a lot of the things we think we need may not actually be the things that we need. Okay.

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Jason Mefford: And so I’m going to focus more on some of the root causes of some of the challenges that we have

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Jason Mefford: Now some of these challenges. Maybe in our career, but also some of them may be in our personal life as well. And so why am I doing this because I want to help you. Okay.

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Jason Mefford: And again, there’s lots of people out there, you know, telling you. Oh, if you do XYZ. Everything is going to be just fine.

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Jason Mefford: But the older I get, the more I actually realized. A lot of that is just BS. Okay.

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Jason Mefford: So what I’m going to start doing is especially on these solo episodes, they’re going to take much more of a band on me helping to explain

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Jason Mefford: Some things and give you some hacks or tips. So I’ll probably use those two different words going forward. So we’ll talk about a topic.

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Jason Mefford: But I’ll also give you some actionable things that you can start doing differently. Okay.

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Jason Mefford: Because if you want different results. You have to do things different. Okay, that’s just, that’s just the facts. If you continue to do things the way you’ve been doing them you will continue to get the same results.

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Jason Mefford: Now some of those results, I’m sure, great, but if you’re like me and like most people, you’d probably like your life to be a little bit better. You’d like your career to be a little bit better.

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Jason Mefford: And sometimes we get stuck and we don’t know how to do that. Okay, so that’s what we’re going to be talking about more and more. And so you’ll see

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Jason Mefford: That I’m going to start sharing with you more of these hacks and tips. Now you’ll get little ones. Each, you know, during the podcast.

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Jason Mefford: You know, but really if you if you really want to dig in and get these deeper. This is something that I go really in depth in in the briefing leadership program.

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Jason Mefford: And so again, you know, just be looking for that if, if, if the podcast is helping you.

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Jason Mefford: And in you’d like more of this at a deeper level and actually be able to have the direct interaction with me, then the briefing leadership program is probably where you want to go as well as the podcast.

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Jason Mefford: Okay, so let’s get into today. Okay. And again, it’s just me talking to you, you know, wherever you happen to be if maybe if you’re in the gym.

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Jason Mefford: You know, if you’re if you’re listening, taking a break, listening to it, maybe if you’re still driving and going to work.

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Jason Mefford: You know, in the remote environment. Maybe you’re listening there. And so I just want to talk to you today. And the reason you know in the intro. I told you that overthinking

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Jason Mefford: And staying stuck in your head may actually be one of the worst things that you’re doing.

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Jason Mefford: And so let me talk a little bit more about that, because today I kind of want to go through two of the reasons why that can be such a problem.

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Jason Mefford: For us when we stay in our head. Okay. Now, the first thing is, you know, I want to share with you. You know, I’m on a learning and growth pattern just like you are

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Jason Mefford: And so, as part of that I belong to some different coaching programs where I’m actually learning and I’m actually receiving coaching myself.

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Jason Mefford: And in one of the programs that I’m in. It’s really, it’s about you know how to, you know, create better habits and actually get out of our head to be able to use our intuition more and and really tap into.

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Jason Mefford: What a lot of people call peak performance. So being able to perform at a very, very high level, those kind of things that usually are only taught to professional athletes.

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Jason Mefford: millionaire business owners people like that. And in in this one program, you know, there’s kind of this saying of, of, you know,

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Jason Mefford: People will be asking for coaching because we because we do calls, you know, during the month and a lot of people will start off prefacing something like

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Jason Mefford: I know I’m probably overthinking this okay and almost everybody says that, and I say that to myself too. I’m probably overthinking this

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Jason Mefford: And almost, you know, 99% of the time, the answer is, yep. You’re overthinking it. You’re making it more difficult than it needs to be.

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Jason Mefford: And you know, I get it. You know, I’m, I’m in the same way as I’m sure, probably you are, you’ve been taught to be analytical you your personality, maybe is one where you’re more of a thinker.

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Jason Mefford: And you like to take your time to go through and make decisions as an example. Okay. Now, the first one that I want to talk about today. The first problem with that and getting is staying in your head.

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Jason Mefford: Is that you are slow to make decisions. Okay, it slows down your decision making and especially in today’s environment that can be a really big challenge.

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Jason Mefford: And so let me, let me just share a couple with you. I was I was having some conversations back and forth with somebody

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Jason Mefford: You know who was looking at joining or doing one of the things, one of the programs that I’m doing.

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Jason Mefford: And, you know, kind of gave them a deadline, you know of, hey we you know need to kind of know by the end of the week.

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Jason Mefford: And he pushed back and said, oh, you know, one week is not enough time for me to make a decision. And I’m like,

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Jason Mefford: Really, you know, you’re, you’re an executive and it’s going to take you more than a week to be able to make a decision about something.

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Jason Mefford: And so again, you know, the question back was, well, how much time do you need to make an informed decision.

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Jason Mefford: And the answer was two weeks, two weeks. Right. I was given him one week to make a decision, which again is a lot of time one week to make a decision is a long time, but he felt like he needed two weeks to make a decision. So let’s talk about that for a minute. Right.

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Jason Mefford: Here you have somebody who is an executive leading a team and imagine what that department would be like, or is like if it were, if that executive requires two weeks to make a decision.

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Jason Mefford: Things are going to go very, very slow okay and and last, I said, you know, the reason for that, again, is if you think you have to over analyze and you’ve got to think about it and you’ve got a way to, you’ve got to marinate on it.

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Jason Mefford: Then, effectively what you’re doing is you’re procrastinating making a decision because honestly, and I’ve talked about this a little bit before we won’t get as much into it today.

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Jason Mefford: But 95% of your decisions are brain based habit, they, they are they’re based on on your habit and on your emotions and actually have absolutely nothing to do with the analysis.

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Jason Mefford: 95% of the decisions you make have nothing to do with the analysis we we tend to through again psychology and cognitive biases.

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Jason Mefford: We end up creating or looking to the data to support the emotional decision that we’re already going to make

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Jason Mefford: Okay. And so again, but if you feel like you have to get in your head, you have to overanalyze it create you know pros and cons list and then

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Jason Mefford: You know, look at it and put it aside and come back to it later. You’re slowing down the decision process. And if you slow down the decision process.

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Jason Mefford: Then you’re not really a leader because you’re not making decisions and you’re not moving forward. Okay. Now, let me just share with you another little analogy with this.

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Jason Mefford: You’ll hear me make references to sports because I like sports and the two that I like the most are football and baseball

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Jason Mefford: And for those of you that are listening internationally. I know that most people around the world football is the game where you kick the ball with your feet.

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Jason Mefford: Now in the United States. We call that soccer because we have American football or what some people call gridiron football.

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Jason Mefford: So when I’m referring to football I’m referring to American football. Okay.

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Jason Mefford: Now there’s something in the National Football League because you know we’re in that time time frame right now my team, the Los Angeles Rams we made it into the playoffs.

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Jason Mefford: We made our, we, you know, we completed our first playoff game. So now we’ll see how we do this next week, but because of that I’m watching a lot of football.

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Jason Mefford: And here’s an interesting thing. If you understand the game is the quarterback is the person who has the ball right so the center hikes, the ball to the

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Jason Mefford: To the quarterback and the quarterback then decides, okay. Am I going to run it. Am I going to hand it to someone else to run or am I going to throw the ball.

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Jason Mefford: To a receiver for them to catch it. Now in the National Football League, the quarterback has between two and two and a half seconds to make a decision and get rid of the ball.

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Jason Mefford: Okay. Let me say that again, two to two and a half seconds because if that quarterback holds on to that ball longer than about two and a half seconds.

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Jason Mefford: The defense is going to tackle him okay and that’s how quick that game actually happens. So I want to ask you.

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Jason Mefford: Do you think a quarterback that’s playing the game is taking time to over analyze and get into their head.

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Jason Mefford: Or are they making more intuitive quicker decisions and they’ve learned exactly how to do that. Right. So again, think about all of them. The many decisions that can be made even in as small as two or three seconds.

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Jason Mefford: And you know, that’s something that you can actually learn and you can practice. So if you find yourself right now taking more time.

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Jason Mefford: To make decisions, what you can start to do is actually make quicker decisions. Now, how do you do that you give yourself a deadline.

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Jason Mefford: Here that you give yourself a deadline. In fact, you know, a few years ago I was talking with another professional speaker, we were at the National speakers Association Conference.

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Jason Mefford: And and we were talking and you know about his life because he’s actually he’s an adventurous person always going on these big hikes and doing these other things.

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Jason Mefford: And and one of his points that he always brings up is, again, trying to make those decisions quicker. So here’s an example. Here’s a little hack or a tip.

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Jason Mefford: Of one way that you can start making quicker decisions. Give yourself a deadline. So for example, this man when he goes to a restaurant.

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Jason Mefford: You know you can sit there, you get the menu, you look at the menu, you go back and forth and back and forth.

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Jason Mefford: The waiter comes up and says, are you ready to order and you say, No, I’m not quite ready yet. I’m still looking at the menu right

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Jason Mefford: And you could spend five or 10 minutes trying to decide what you’re going to have for dinner.

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Jason Mefford: Now what this man does, which I think is great. Is he says, Look, I have 10 seconds to make a decision. And so he opens the menu and he just looks in points. And that’s what he what he is having for dinner.

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Jason Mefford: Within 10 seconds. Now you might look at that and say, Oh, no. Well, what if I make a bad decision.

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Jason Mefford: Well, what if you make a good decision right as well. Now, the reality is, yeah, you might order something that you didn’t really like and next time. Now you’re going to know and so you won’t order that again.

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Jason Mefford: But on the flip side, right. Don’t always be thinking about the negative. Think about the positive

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Jason Mefford: Maybe in doing that and making that quicker decision you actually order something off of the menu that you would have never picked and you loved it. It was great. Okay, so there’s a little, little hacker tip for you.

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Jason Mefford: On trying to start to make quicker decisions. Give yourself a deadline and then just make the decision by them. And in fact,

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Jason Mefford: I might bring this into a future episode. But there’s a great book called The one minute manager and again it’s it’s setting a one minute deadline to make sure that you make a decision within one minute.

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Jason Mefford: Because, again, the thing is, you’re going to get further ahead, the quicker decisions, you can make and the quicker you can receive feedback on whether or not those were actually good decisions. Okay, so that’s the first one.

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Jason Mefford: Now the second problem with with get with being in your head. Okay. And this is, again, when you’re in your head when you’re over analyzing when you’re not sure what to do when you’re kind of locked up, you get in your head right

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Jason Mefford: And another problem with this is it usually traps yourself in fear, anxiety or worry. Now again you know a lot of you have been taught to manage risk to

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Jason Mefford: Try to avoid bad things from happening. So you put controls in place, you do all the things like this.

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Jason Mefford: Now over analyzing though, and always looking for the negative and thinking about the negative and all of the negative things that can go on.

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Jason Mefford: Gets us stuck in your head, because it usually comes from a place of fear, anxiety or worry

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Jason Mefford: And I’m going to ask you this. If you spend most of your day in fear, anxiety or WORRY HOW DO YOU THINK YOU FEEL ABOUT YOURSELF AND HOW DO YOU THINK YOU feel about the world around you.

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Jason Mefford: It’s probably a pretty negative view right because you’re worried or fearful about things happening.

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Jason Mefford: Now, again, the reality is, just as we were talking about before of ordering off of the menu in 10 seconds.

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Jason Mefford: You might sit there and say, Oh, well, there’s a risk that I’m going to order something that I don’t like. Well, that’s not really even a very big risk. So you probably shouldn’t worry about it.

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Jason Mefford: And you should take the risk. Okay, so you’re going to hear me also talking about taking the risk more often. Why, because you have to take risk in order to have the reward as well. Okay.

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Jason Mefford: So let’s try to, let’s try to, you know, talk about this again how how being in your head keeps you in this fear, anxiety and worry

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Jason Mefford: Because the problem is, you know, again, the reason why you’re creating all of those, you know, pro and con sheets and doing all these other things is trying to delay.

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Jason Mefford: Or another word for delay is pro crash the nation. Right. So you’re procrastinating trying to make a decision, because you’re afraid you’re gonna make a wrong decision.

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Jason Mefford: Well, I’m here to tell you there’s no wrong decision because here’s the thing.

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Jason Mefford: Even if even if you’re at the restaurant and you order something and it comes to your table and you’re like, this is the WORST piece of La La that I’ve ever eaten.

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Jason Mefford: Guess what, you can make another decision at that point you can take a few bites call the waitstaff back and say, you know what

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Jason Mefford: I’m not really happy with this. I think I’m going to order something else instead. You’re allowed to make another decision.

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Jason Mefford: Now the other reason to why a lot of times we try to overthink we get stuck in our head get stuck in this fear, anxiety and worry is because now this is going to come as a surprise to many of you.

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Jason Mefford: We are afraid to make the decision that we know we need to make. Okay. We’re afraid to make the decision that we know we need to make

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Jason Mefford: Because it’s going to move us outside of our comfort zone. Okay. So if I go back to the to the man that I was talking about before.

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Jason Mefford: Why does he need two weeks. He doesn’t need two weeks to make a decision. Okay. And he already knows what he wants to do, but he’s afraid to make the decision because it’s going to be outside of his

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Jason Mefford: comfort level. Okay. And again, I get it. I understand that. I like my routines. I like to be comfortable just like everybody else.

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Jason Mefford: But if you notice a lot of times when you’re trying to make decisions you feel very quickly in your heart or, you know,

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Jason Mefford: What you should do within a few seconds, but it scares you. And because it scares you. You try to find evidence to allow you to continue to do what you were already doing.

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Jason Mefford: Now again, if you continue to do what you’re already doing. That’s where you’re going to stay stuck is exactly doing the same doing that you’ve been doing OK.

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Jason Mefford: So again, if, if, as well. One of the reasons why to get out of your head is so that you don’t get trapped in that fear, anxiety or worry

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Jason Mefford: Or so that you don’t give up what you really want to give up. OK. So again, there was a, you know, few years ago I was in Las Vegas with a group of people

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Jason Mefford: We ended up kind of hopping around to some of the different casinos and bars in and one of them. There was a mechanical bull. Okay.

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Jason Mefford: So they’re in rodeo. There’s a thing called bull riding where you actually get on top of a bowl and you ride you try to stay on for eight seconds pretty tough.

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Jason Mefford: And there’s a lot of risk. Okay, that goes along with that because you can get thrown off, you can get trampled all kinds of stuff. Right.

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Jason Mefford: Well, they have mechanical bulls in certain bars here in the US that might have other places too, but where you can get on and kind of simulate like you’re writing a ball.

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Jason Mefford: Now, if you’re a little bit drunk already getting on a ball that’s going to be jerking you around. And hopefully, being able to hold on with one hand.

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Jason Mefford: poses some potential risks. Okay. You could fall off. You could look funny. Okay, you know, to the other people that are around you because you didn’t stay on as long as everybody else did. Right.

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Jason Mefford: And so we were in. We were in this particular bar and there was a mechanical bull and somebody said, oh, hey, I want to where I want to ride that I’ve never done that before.

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Jason Mefford: And so then we kind of go around, like, All right, everybody, you’re going to do it. You’re going to do it. You’re going to do it. You’re going to do it.

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Jason Mefford: And all of a sudden everybody starts getting into their head and thinking about on the hold it. Maybe I’m a little bit drunk. Maybe I’m gonna fall off. Maybe I’m going to look stupid. If I fall off.

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Jason Mefford: And most the of the people in our group said no. I think I’m going to pass because they overthought overthought overthought over thought about all of the things that could happen.

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Jason Mefford: Now, the reality is the worst that could happen is you’re going to fall off onto some really cushioned

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Jason Mefford: Foam and stuff on the bottom right, you’re not gonna hurt yourself. And so when it came around to me. I’m like, hell yeah I’m gonna do it.

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Jason Mefford: Because that was one of the things that’s on was on my bucket list right it was actually write a mechanical bull. Call me crazy. Call me weird whatever

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Jason Mefford: But here I was with an opportunity ahead of me to be able to ride that mechanical bull. So I did not give myself time to try to talk myself out of it.

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Jason Mefford: Right, I could have done that I could have said, Well, I’m just a minute, let me

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Jason Mefford: Let me, let me pull out my phone here and start creating a pro and con list and well you know I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know.

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Jason Mefford: Instead, I made the decision. Nope, I’m riding the ball and I got on it and I rode the ball. I didn’t do too bad. And it was fun. Okay.

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Jason Mefford: Now at the end I ended up getting knocked off. Everybody gets knocked off from mechanical ball at some point. But I had a good time.

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Jason Mefford: And I enjoyed myself and I crossed something off my bucket list. Okay.

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Jason Mefford: So, again, get out of your head start making decisions quicker because the problem is if it’s taking you a week or two weeks, try to make a decision and you’re just mulling it over and over and over again in your mind.

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Jason Mefford: You’re getting stuck in that fear, anxiety and worry and the longer that you stay in that state. The lower your emotional state is as well.

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Jason Mefford: And the lower your emotional state is the worst you feel about yourself. The worst you feel about the world around you.

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Jason Mefford: Better to make a quick decision that maybe wasn’t the best decision and then make a second decision than to just stay stuck in your head.

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Jason Mefford: Alright, so with that I gave you a couple of different things to think about today as well.

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Jason Mefford: And like I said, there’s many more of these that I have that are included in the briefing leadership program here. I’m going to be giving you know one or two things. Each time that we do one of these episodes.

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Jason Mefford: And I know again from the title at the beginning, you might have thought

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Jason Mefford: What do you mean get out of your head, Jason, you know I’m supposed to be thinking I’m supposed to be analytical I’m supposed to be doing all these things.

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Jason Mefford: Well, actually, if you’re, if you want to be a leader. If you want to make change. If you want to actually go forward in life.

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Jason Mefford: One of the big keys is getting out of your head and learning how to make decisions quicker.

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Jason Mefford: So that you you know actually make the decisions move forward. Hey, the worst that can happen. You got to make a new decision. That’s okay.

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Jason Mefford: There’s no decision that you make in your life or in business or your career, that is final. You can always make another decision. Okay. So with that, my friends go out use those hacks and I will catch you on the next episode of jamming with Jason. Have a great rest your day.

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